CAN'T THINK STRAIGHT

Have you ever been so close to a dream that you can see it, almost touch it, that you want it so bad you could even be your own worst nightmare and kill what chances you have to make that dream a reality? For me, I've been this route before, but this is bigger than I could have ever imagined. I can only hope that what I see for my family’s future becomes the reality that I have dreamed of for the past 11 years.

I pray each night that my book will see the light of day and become a movie for the big screen or even LMN. I am 22 days away from this possible reality and I am a bag of endless mixed emotions. However in all of this inner turmoil, there is one thing that I am finding easy - the words to write and the music to inspire me.  I'd like to share a story with you that I have linked from my other blog. It is a story that has been in my heart for the last two years, and has finally been born into words. I do hope you enjoy it. As for my update on my cleaning, my office is not organized, but I am keeping the house tidy and laundry, believe it or not, has remained caught up.

But with all the thoughts racing in my mind, I looked at my desk and have no clue where to being. All I can think of is that if my dream of becoming a screenwriter comes true, I will have kept my promise to my family that I would see they would have some kind of financial future to survive. I only hope this is a promise that I can follow through with.  So until next blog, may you all have a wonderful day and all the days that follow. Oh and one other thing, before you close your eyes to sleep tonight, be sure you tell those who mean the most to you, how much you care about them and who happy you are that they are in your life.

Here is the link to my story for today.
http://bu3-ret-staceybolin.blogspot.com/2012/02/your-never-to-old-for-surprises.html

MY SECRET RECIPE - DON'T TELL

Ok, I have decided not to be so secretive when it comes to my kitchen creations. I do you hope you enjoy this cookie recipe and that you make them, you share them with others. I hope you like them.

CHERRY CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES

Oven should be heated to 350 degrees.

Ingredients:

2 Sticks salted butter softened. If you have them in the refrigerator, you can place them in a microwave for 40 seconds on 50% power. (DO NOT MELT BUTTER)

1 Cup Light Brown Sugar

¾ Cup white sugar

1 ½ teaspoons vanilla

2 eggs (add eggs and mix one at a time)

1 Teaspoon salt

1 Teaspoon soda

1 ¼ Cup flour

1 jar maraschino cherries, drained (reserving 1 tablespoon of juice)

1 tablespoon maraschino cherry juice

I used a Kitchen Aid mixer with the white single “J” shaped bread hook attachment to mix the dough. I also mix on a medium setting. (You can mix this recipe by hand; it just will take a little longer).

In a large bowl mix together, the butter, sugars, and vanilla until they are creamy. Then add one egg and blend into the creamy mix. But sure the egg is well blended. Add the second egg and mix again until blended.

One you have your mix blended together, add 1 cup of the flour, the baking soda, and salt. Mix again until blended. Add cherries, cherry juice, remaining flour and 2 cups of milk chocolate or semi-sweet chocolate bits, blending together one more time. Phew, bet your arm is tried if you hand mixed it. That is why I used to have my husband mix the batter for me. Then he got me a Kitchen Air mixer. (I’m lovin’ it)

Drop by rounded tablespoons on parchment paper covered metal cookie sheet.

Ovens vary, so when I start my first batch I cook for about 8 minutes, increasing the time as needed so that cookies are golden brown in color. Cookies may be thin with a crun-chewy texture. That is when they are the best. Enjoy!

To Tax or Not to Tax

This was the day, February 23, 2012, a day that I had been dreading, worrying about, pondering endlessly on techniques to be as ready as I could be, a day that some look forward to and others cringe and want to just hide away. What day am I talking about? Why tax preparation day. Now, I don't mind it, as we usually get a little something in return, however getting our documents together, that is where I fail considerably. I put things in places that I think my brain will remember but then forgets ten minutes after have filed it in my no-fail filing system. Yes I am being sarcastic once again. For my husband and me, itemizing is our best route as we pay a lot of out of pocket expenses when it comes to medical and dental. Yet with itemizing, comes the task of maintain all documentation for the accounts. If I can get the receipts and medical paperwork into the same room, than I am on a roll. I've tried binders, pretty multi-colored folders, pocket files, large file cabinets and small portable files boxes. I just can't seem to get into a routine/system of placing things where they are supposed to go.

Now in 2010, I actually was on task and on target. Documents were put where they belonged. So what is the problem this year? Well I'll tell you. My family likes to play room hopscotch. The room, in which my office is in at this very moment, is in the front of our home and was the original office when we first moved here in back in 1992. It worked perfectly; there was only a desk and a book shelf. In 1997 when I was due with my second son, the office was moved to a desk down in our family room which remained there for about 11 years. About three years ago my older son wanted a large room, so we make him a room downstairs and wha la, old office/bedroom was free again and I moved it back upstairs, but not for long. My mother came to live with us in the fall of 2009, so my office was moved back downstairs and file boxes had to be stacked next to it. Does anyone know what happens when you stack more than three boxes high if they are to be entered daily? Well for me, I got lazy and just started dropped the papers on my desk or on the book shelf, rather than take the time to file them where they needed to go. 

So this only strengthens my quest to get myself on a completely organized schedule. It always seems to be the same song and dance year after year, with the exception of 2010 – dig through the boxes and papers to be sure I have all my documents and W-2’s to get my taxes filed before April 15^th. Well I got it done with 22 days to spare…phew! Another project completed and will add this to my list of accomplishments, however I won’t feel that this is fully accomplished until I am organized so that if you asked me to located a document, I’ll know right where to go to find what I’m looking for and I won’t need a pair of search dogs to sniff it out. Wow, glad I got rid of the mystery stench that would have certainly thrown them off the document search trail.

Me and the Mystery Stench!

"BAD TO THE BONE"

Have you ever been plagued by a stench that was so rancid, that every time you walked into a particular room you felt nauseous? Now I’m not saying it has to be in your home, it can be anywhere…how about a woman’s public restroom at the beach on a humid day in the summer heat, or a pair of men’s wet over worked work boots that harbor the smell of fermented feet?  Well this gargantuan mystery smell that was consuming and taking over my fresh clean Pine Sol kitchen scent was getting old real fast and I knew that it was either the smell or me. Ok, don’t tell anyone, but yes I caught myself on numerous occasions hoping that the smell wasn’t from me.   

For the past three weeks this mystery smell was lurking somewhere in our kitchen, but was finding its way into our dining room and down the hallway. It wasn’t close enough to the bathroom, or I would have told friends and guest who stopped in, that it was the aftermath of something one of my kids or husband had eaten. Well, what do you want me to say…we don’t have a dog to blame it on. Now I love a great mystery and better yet…I like to solve them with quickness. I put together my plan of attack to conquer this smelly enemy to regain control over our castle.  Slowly, so that I didn't overlook anything, I had been removing and then replacing every item in our kitchen. I had even gone as far as pulling the dishwasher and the refrigerator out to make sure that we didn't have any water leaks from the hoses or copper tubing.  How discouraging it was to discover that all was dry. So then what in the blazes was it coming from? I said over and over as I tried to find a reasonable solution to our problem.

 All that came to my mind was someone must have had spilt something and didn't clean it up completely. But there was no evidence that such a thing had happened. With each day that I attempted my many cleaning maneuvers, the room would smell clean and fresh.  The problem was I must have been getting used to it because as soon as you walked into the house, after going off for the day...the smell was there, it would grab you by the collar, slap you in the nose and then punch you in the stomach. It was so frustrating that at one point we felt we had lost our minds when each of us created our own description of the sinister smell. My husband pondered the idea that it was almost an earthy smell with a dash of brown/gray dust, a pinch of mold, and a splash of thick green pond water.  My kids believe the scent to be a bag of rotten baking potatoes in the panty. As for myself, I was under the belief it was some kind of abscessed, ooze covered, mystery meat that was hiding low and deep in the refrigerator just waiting for its attack on some late night fridge troll. Ok, yes, I consider myself a fridge troll, if you saw what I look like in the middle of the night, you’d agree with me big time.

 I know this is the last thing you want to hear, people describing rotten smells looming in a room that should be sanitized to do the daily cooking. In my kitchen you can eat off the counter, most of the time. But with this unknown suspect hiding somewhere in our kitchen, we were all put on our guard. No three second rules were allowed until said smell was located, captured and put to death. As we entered into our fourth week of this unknown stench, a familiar memory entered my mind. Chicken! That’s it…Chicken! I said with a smile and I looked at my husband and boys who were trying to wrinkle their faces past the point of prune.

Look out stench - I'm gonna get ya!

With one last attempt I went back into the refrigerator to find this rancid fresh air wreaker. WHA LA! The evil had been discovered. It was strategically hidden in the meat drawer just under a large package of shredded cheese. It was no longer a pink fresh chicken tender, it was now a yellowed, gummy, stagnant growth that should be wrapped in a toxic waste bag and then incased in a red hazardous waste container and incinerated so that no trace could be smelt again. My family rejoiced, “Mom had saved the day! She found the toxic demon that plagued our kitchen for a month. She destroyed it with her bare hands. Hip Hip Hooray!” Now you know I like to post pictures of my accomplishments in the clutter chaos, but it was even to grotesque and to smelly for me to get near again. Once was enough. Now we can walk into our home and no longer fear having to get fitted for environmental toxic waste suits and respirators. We now breathe healthier and cleaner air. Awwwwww.

What's been going on?

Here is a funny, but also a ture story that I wanted to share with you before I get back into the daily grind of updating you on my progress with cleaning and organizing our home. Tomorrow I will be posting a fun update. called "Me and the Mystery Smell" hope your ready to take on a new cleaning adventure. Have a great day - Blog you later.

http://bu3-ret-staceybolin.blogspot.com/2012/02/seriously-did-you-really-just-say-that.html

SHOCK & AWE!

Well with any good idea, you are always going to have set backs. This week, I’ve had a huge set back; however this set back is the most important thing that our family will be facing in a long time. It's not so much it’s a bad thing, it is actually very remarkable. On Tuesday of this week, I was all excited to post that I had finished my closet project, only be bombarded by endless 1-800 numbers calling the house. There was one number on my phone that continued to show up from Jan 31, to Feb 2, 2012. Oddly enough, I counted the number of times it had appeared, NO JOKE, it had listed 11 times. “WOW” I thought, that was one hell of sales person wanting to get ahold of me. My thinking was it was probably a solicitation for the Policeman's and fireman’s drive, the Capital Newspaper wanting me start getting home delivery of the paper, an upgrade offer on my Xfinity cable or who knows, a bill that I paid three years ago and they are just calling me about it now saying I didn’t... I see you nodding your heads; you’ve gotten those types of calls too. What do they think we’re idiots? But I guess in this recession and companies doing all they can to drain that mighty dollar from our hard working citizens; I guess they figure why not give it a try and see what happens. I've gotten calls like that, the caller on the other line just assumed I was stupid enough to believe I still owed the debt. But they don’t know that I have a sharp memory and I know I didn't forget to pay

So, again, my brain is wandering, let me get back to my update. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, was like any normal day, depending on what you would classify normal as, in this house. Kids got up with the same slow motion movement and feet dragging. This is not only normal, I expect it as they have been like this for years. When the school year gets closer and closer to the summer, they get slower and slower to get up in the morning. They got on the bus on Tuesday, and I drove them on Wednesday and Thursday, then I would come home and I went about my normal routine...eyeing the empty bed that calls my name every morning to come back and snuggle down in it - but I don't. I got laundry done and at the strike of the clock that indicated it was 8 am, the phone started it's off the hook, ring all day, deal. UGH! I’d answer and it would be someone selling this, or offering that and I was at my wits end and vowed that if it wasn’t a number I knew it was going to keep ringing.  Was I going to screen my calls?  Your dang straight I was…and then it happened – The most important call of my life that I would have lost had I not heard the beginning of the message. Three mini phrases registered in my head - Your book, Executives, Hollywood film agents, had me running through my home like a long jump Olympian.  . HOLY SCREEN WRITE!

I grabbed the phone and kept yelling “Hello! Hello! I’m here! Hello!”

“Yes, ma’am, how are you today? My publisher replied in a very professional voice

“I’m fine, how are you?” speaking slowly to hide my elevated heart rate and breathing. He went on to talk about an event that he is working on and that a marketing agent with the publishing house that I am with, put my book “Through the Barracks Window: A Time of Waves” on his desk for consideration to be a part of the - Las Vegas Pitch Fest 2012. To sum up his email that was sent to me to confirm my placement in this event, this is what it said at the bottom of all the information that he provided and what I would expect.

·          Las Vegas is the Entertainment Capital of the World where professional entertainment executives who are looking for stories with an enthralling concept, a sharp focus, and visual potential to name a few book-to-screen characteristics. Are you ready to show Las Vegas, Nevada what you and your book are made of? Don’t miss out on this glamorous opportunity to launch your book into the limelight. There are only 150 spots available and spots will be filled on a first come, first serve basis.

Now, when I first got the call on Thursday, I reacted in the same as when I was told that I had Hodgkin’s disease. Your mind goes into a numb state. You can hear, you see, but you are completely numb as to what is going on around you. 

My husband was on his way to pick me and the kids up, to go to one of the Junior Fair board meetings that our kids attend once a month. I tried my best to hide my sheer fear that I was dealing with. Fear of success, fear of possible financial freedom, fear of another dream coming true, and the fear of financial ruins if I pay for the accommodations that are required of me. When I told my kids and my husband what the call had entailed, you saw the same shock I had experienced, however their shock turned to glee. For me, I wanted to run and hide. I worried that my family would resent me if I went and came home without an offer, that I would have once again, let them down. This feeling consumed me for the rest of the evening and all during a sleepless night. As my husband slept peacefully beside me, I whispered over and over into the night, “God, What do I do?”

The next morning at breakfast, and still consumed by this fear of failing, my husband shared his words of support and that he knew this was the big break I have been looking for, over the past year.  He was so compassionate, he knew I was struggling with something inside of me and was patient as I tried to find the right words to express what I was feeling. It wasn't until his call, before my publicist was to call, that I shared my fears, all of them.  His reply was, “It’s nothing but a thing. You can do this! I know you can! I’d be disappointed if you had this chance and didn’t go for it! I will be very angry if I knew you sat in front of your computer for 11 years getting your words into print, only to get this close, but then walk away. I don’t care what it costs – YOUR GOING!”

On Friday at 1:24pm, I confirmed with my publicist that I would attend. I just can’t believe it - I am going to Vegas in March with the hopes that another one of my odd dreams may in fact become a reality. What was that dream that I had when I chose to finally publish my story?  I dreamt that I was walking the red carpet with my family.  I don’t know why, all I know is that in that dream it was a feeling of going full circle in my life. A true -  what goes around comes around, in a positive way, moment.  I just can't imagine how I'd feel if this really comes true? I do know that I will never doubt the work of a higher power and the strength within me.  Now if I can only pitch my story with the same passion that I have when I talk about it or when I write my other short stories. As for my cleaning quests , I promise they will continue, but may not always be the immediate success that was in my mind before I knew I had to write a Pitch that could make my book a movie. I will, no matter what, I will still accomplish my cleaning challenge by 2013. Yikes! Why do I put so much on my plate…is my mind really that hungry? Have a great weekend and enjoy the Super Bowl Game. Here’s hoping that Madonna doesn’t have any outfit malfunctions while my teenage boys and husband are watching. (smile).