Doctor tells me I'm OK!

DAY FIVE

What was going to be a morning of organizing my linen and coat closet yesterday, was anything but.  However, I have the perfect reasoning behind it. I have had a possible medical condition that has been worrying me since November of last year. For the past several years there has always been a small lump on the left top side of my head. Doctors noted it over the years and would check it for changes in shape and size, but it had always remind the same, until just last year. In addition to the lump on my head, I was also experiencing shortness of breath, chest pain and arm pain. Yes, I have been followed extensively and I have to say, my doctor that I have now, who is in the Army, is top notch.  So worrying continuously about these possible serious medical conditions, my mind wonders and distracts me from getting my house projects done.  I had full intensions of getting my projects done yesterday, and then it happened - Fear came over me about my health.  I began to worry - what if these symptoms are life threatening? What about my Husband and boys? Who would take care of them? Me that's who - Think positive.

When these types of worries come upon me, I give myself about fifteen minutes to let myself cry, get angry, zone, whatever it is I need to do to get back into my game and find my inner strength. For me, Christmas music is what helps me back into a calming state. No joke, if you were to go into my truck or anywhere in my house, there is always a Christmas CD stuck somewhere for quick access. So, my appointment was in Bethesda at noon. After getting my husband off to work and the kids off to school, I got the wood stove a blazing and then sat quietly listening to my music and watching the fire, all the while - telling myself I was going to be just fine.

My husband is always my inspiration when dealing with this type of medical appointment. He is a rock, but I am sure he is just as scared as I am. Neither one of us want to relive the medical trauma we went through with my Hodgkin's Disease 17 years ago. I got myself dressed and wanted more than anything to see him before I headed to Bethesda.  So I did what I always do...find a reason to see him on his job site. He was working local - Lucky for me.  I went to Subway and got him a sandwich, coke and cookies.  When I pulled up to where he was working, there were many trucks waiting to be loaded with top soil and other companies were getting  their material together to put their foundation forms together. My husband is an Master Equipment Operator.  He say's I just say that because he is my husband. I tell him, "No, I say that because you are very talented person and I am proud to be married to you."

Now I don't have to talk to him to feel better, just seeing him at work, rest or play, is more than enough. I stood there next to two other workers and smiled. They saw that I had brought a special lunch for him and offered to go and get him. But all I had to do was just leave it there and I didn't want to slow progress. I saw him and he saw me. We know each others hand singles to the T.  I smiled and then pointed out that I was going to leave his lunch in his truck, then waved and away I went. I got to the Military Hospital in record time, got checked in and was immediately placed into the doctors examination room. I knew in an instant that I was going to be fine when he began to talk about the results. All is well and good, the lump on my head is made of bone, not tissue mass and is calcium related. As for the heart, I need to stop stressing out so much. Because of the years of stress I had placed upon myself, my heart muscles don't know how to completely relax. Knowing this, I will be more aware of how I am feeling, I will continue with my ways of coping with stressful situations, and when all else fails, I will stay calm.   So to get a clean bill of health vs. cleaning my closet out...I took the clean bill of health and celebrated with my husband and boys. My thought - I will battle the clutter another day.


Today is another day and I am ready to go back to my cleaning schedule. Wish me luck! haha. T.G.I.F. - Thank God It's Friday!