Hello out there in internet world! So, here we are, another month into my quest, and happy to report, process in the making. I know it has been a few days since my last post. Life has been crazy in the Bolin home, but a crazy that I wouldn't change for anything. Just a few of my accomplishments, have been getting my office organized. I know can you believe it! Holy Cow! I don't know what it is, but I think I have found the magic solution to get my butt out of neutral and start trucking forward. For example, I had this quilt that I got when my husband and I first moved to Maryland. It was called the wedding ring pattern. Now after 18 years, the quilt needed full retirement, and I don't mean to be donated to local charity, it needed to move on, out of this house and let Mr. Trash guy take it. It was ripped, torn, even the threads of the fabric were like sugar glass, one touch and it would just fray. To look at the quilt I had so many memories, but then I felt a positive disconnect. In my mind, I appreciated the memories and knew that this quilt of many memories had also been in many photographs along the way. And so I did what my husband and boys never thought I could do in a million years...I walked outside and put it in the trash can, smiled and then walked back into the house. Now for me, that is a major mile stone and a great lesson in my life. With this situation, I knew that I am moving up in my progress of letting go. That just because I hold on to things, doesn't mean that I can go back to the past...and then again, why would I want to. So much hurt in my past, I don't want to live that again. I want to remember the happy moments and not the sad. With this type of new thinking in my life, I am finding as I clean, that when I stumble upon things I kept for whatever the reason was then, the reasons differ now and I either throw them away or give them away if they are in good shape. It is a fabulous feeling. I've noticed in my husband and kids, all the tension - GONE! I will admit it - Clutter makes people crazy! You feel agitated, nervous; just something about it makes you feel as if you just can't relax. And that is the key word - RELAX. My family is relaxed and I love it. My husband and I are closer than we have ever been and my kids appear to be at peace. Clutter can mess up a kids world too, and I can only hope that I didn't clutter their minds so when they are out on their own, they continue with what bad habits I once had. I am good about sharing the fact that I was very depressed about life and the world around me. I had to find myself again and realize that I am important to myself. That I am talented and I can do whatever I set my mind to do, but I can also be my worst nightmare and can completely shut myself down if I feel hurt or damaged. Learning what those nightmare signs are, help me stay focused on remaining positive and live in the now.
Whats that? You have a question? Ok, shoot. What do you want to know?
“Stacey, what in your life have you noticed is the reason behind your new found way of living and thinking? I know loosing the weight is a great motivator and you feel better, but there must be something more than loosing weight and doing things for your three boys?"
That is so easy to answer – MUSIC! Yes, you heard me right, music. When I looked back over the last five years, and wanted to find the missing link in my life. What was it that was gone that was vital in my thinking, my ways, my actions towards others? The answer had always been there, I just didn’t know how to find it until I started working on the final edits to get my book "Through the Barracks Window", published last May. The answer was music. My whole life has been intertwined with a multitude of various musical genres, artists, from a get slow jazz tune from the depths of the southernmost bayou to the hottest R&B techno dance beat from LA to NYC and back to the calming romantic slow dancing cowboy song to get close too with that special someone I love. Sometimes the music is not about the words, but just having an upbeat melody. Other times it is the words and how I am inspirited from one minute to the next. When I’m cleaning I play songs that will get me going or motivated. Like last Saturday, I went on YouTube, which is my favorite website. I listened to Enya, Lightening Seeds, The Cure, Amy Grant, Ratt, Bon Jovi, Kenny G, Metallica, Doors, and the list goes on and on. I guess having been a DJ when I lived in Adak, AK in the early 90’s, is probably why I still go back to those songs from that time for me. As I always loved to watch the people who frequented the club and how they would react when a song came on that they enjoyed. I can still feel their energy and I guess that is how I get my energy – seeing people happy.
So again, I am happy to report that my cleaning efforts are getting stronger and my will to sit and write has also increased tremendously. Keeping my fingers crossed that all goes well with my book Pitch in Vegas and I think I can safely say that “Bellows in the Mist” will be out in May. AWESOME! So that’s been my week in a nutshell. I’ll keep you posted on my progress and won’t allow so much of a time lapse. Sometimes I feel my posting are like watching a sitcom that keeps changing its air date. People get frustrated and wonder – DID IT GET CANCELLED? WTH! (Smile). Don’t worry I didn’t cancel myself. So until my next post – Blog yah later gaters.
